where can i donate to farmers?

They shouldn't have to live in those conditions! :P i'm so rude, but i couldn't live in the country in some small hick town with one "general store".

God. I've was gonna type this up yesterday, but i couldn't be stuffed. well seriously, i had a cold with a temperature and all. And my calf muscles seem to have stopped working so i can't bend my knees, which are covered in bruises not to mention the fact that my sleep went like this: woke up at 7 am thursday morning. Went to sleep: 7am friday morning. Woke up at 8am friday morning. went to sleep: 12am friday morning[or night?] [or is it saturday morning?] and i woke up at 11am this morning and here we are. and i can't talk properly either. not man-ish yet, but getting there, i think.

Well I thought it was over-rated and i didn't have as much fun as everyone thinks they did. But i did learn quite a bit. yes, i did learn about snorkelling, horse riding, sailing and surfing, but i also learnt more about people. perhaps more than i want to know. well. i know of course that everyone here, or at least most people that read this blog are friends from school, but it's my blog and i'll speak my mind if i want to. and i want to. names aside, i'm gonna give you a load of my thoughts.

Well firstly there's me. Shitty. the first night i couldn't stand being away from home. I've never been one of those ppl that cry coz they're home sick but i was all shitty for being stuck with a bunch of wankers for 5 days. I'm not calling everyone a wanker, just the fact that i can't stand people in general. then there's living with them. I mean, i know i can smell, be annoying, leave crap everywhere, whatever, but that doesn't mean i don't get irritated by others. I mean, do u know how manly i felt sitting next to some ppl?? I felt like some slob with a beer gut in a flannel shirt burping and farting my night away. well, anyone would feel like that sitting next to a pussy lil annoying shit with stacks of make up with their hair loose and talking in that fricken voice that just shits me. I can't really say more without mentioning names and stuff, but i just can't stand them. sometimes. i mean it's not an all the time thing. I'm sure they must bloke up sometimes. surely. maybe?

Anyway, that's not it. what else was the rankings. rankings of groups. i hate it. I mean a friend told me that she didn't fit in. actually, come to think of it, 2 friends told me they don't fit in. well, i didn't know what to say to them and i just tried to switch the conversation around to something else. Well i went to bed thinking about it. I'm a bit of an outcast sometimes. I mean, there's the big group. then there's the sub group. In the big group, altogether, all's fine. but if the big group kinda breaks up, it's like there's: the girlies. the "active" [or energetic] ppl. the normal-even-headed ppl who have morals and sense. there's the chinese speakers. then, there's me. actually, that's the sub groups. so yeah. so i told my friend that and she laughed at me, but now she knows. and so do you. there's the background. now let me tell you all a story that may or may not have non fictional attributes:

One fine evening a group of girls sat down to their dinner. it felt as if lunch was hours ago, possibly because it was, but it also felt as if dinner should be illegal as it was only about 5 pm. who has dinner at that time, they thought. old, crusty people who go to sleep at about 7 and get up at 5 am just to do tai chi. so anyway, the girls sat down at their chosen table. greedily wihtout thinking of their friends. but they were like that. they don't think of the future and take t as it comes, which can be dim coz they don't foresee obvious problems in their way. so they sat and as they slowly, very very slowly realised there weren't enough seats to seat all 14 people, they yelled to pull up some chairs. of course, even with so many chairs, there wasn't enough table space for all. So the solution would have been to take up another table where everyone could be seaten comfortably, still in their group. But no. As mentioned, they were a short sighted group of girls who decided to just spread out across many tables to eat the meagre, under/over cooked food that was always queerly soggy. Of course this was a trivial matter that took place in only a few minutes, but haunted them for days.

That was just a small feature to their problems. They started to collapse internally. they gave each other nasty looks and slammed countless doors. They talked about each other to another while they were being equally talked about by another. They were prone to bitching, although they would always deny it. Who could pass up on some gossip, they'd always say, knowing perfectly well they could easily walk away from it all. It was easy to see this group of nice girls would be just as bad as the next with secrets. Anyway, blah led to blah blah [[i really wanna go play gunbound now]] and so they were cut deep. Perhaps it was the salt water, or perhaps it was inevitable the group were going to split up. So they all jumped onto a magic carpet and flew home.

As i said, there was some fiction and nonfiction in there, but still, maybe everyone should take a look at what they're doing and see the faults in their actions. Open your eyes and see what's happening guys and maybe you won't get as hurt. Just a little something from me. And before I go, how about trying to control your anger a little more. I mean, instead of taking out your anger on someone, take it out on someTHING, or maybe just cool it a little. I know i get angry and all, but it really scares me when other people are. I dno what it is. It's like i'm scared they're gonna do something to me or someone or like just hold some grudge for ages or something. maybe it's just me. yeah. go get angry. woo angriness. go. yeah.

Kimo.